Never Go Down On a Stranger ~ Matthew Coleman

April 30, 2007

Never go down on a stranger no matter how sensational her snatch must be whilst barely covered with a skirt.

 Never go down on a stranger no matter how inviting those tight and tanned thighs look in the lingering low light of the boozer.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how seductivethose eyes look at you from afar. 

Never go down on a stranger no matter how well you get on with her after she’s slowly strolled up and began talking to you with ease.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how many times her fingers brush against your arm arousing that subtle sensation in your balls.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how many drinks you knock back to the point where you’re both pissed out of your head.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how quickly it is that you’re back at her place in the lingering low light of her bedroom.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how hard your cock is whilst pressed against her with you on top.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how round and firm her tits are in the putty palm of your hand.  

Never go down on a stranger no matter how good the putty palm of her hand gently slides over the protruding prick in your pants. 

Never go down on a stranger no matter how seductively she slurs in your ear: “Go down on me big boy..” 

Never go down on a stranger between the dark shadows of her thighs as my old man once told me about Pete, one of his Mod mates when he was growing up in Brighton years ago…  

“So one night Pete is all suited and booted and razzled with this bird he met at a club and he’s making her laugh like the right jack the lad that he is. Back at her place and the pair of ‘em were on her bed rolling round and giggling and touching each other up when Pete gets a hunger on to go down on her. He asks her if he can, like the gentleman that he is, and she’s like: “Nah, you can’t, you can’t, just put it in me, go on, I’m right ready for you now..”  

And Pete’s like: “Nah, come on, I wanna go down on you. Yeah, I got a right ‘ol hunger for it..”  

Eventually Pete wins cause he’s a right charmer with the ladies and then he gets down there between her thighs and he makes a right feast out of her gash. She tastes a little heavy to Pete, like a bit on the iron side, but he puts this down to all that Guinness he’dknocked back earlier.  

Soon she’s all wet. She’s soaking in fact, and it’s all smeared around her snatch and all over Pete’s mouth and his tongue and he’s loving it thinking he’s some kind of fucking Casanova. After he’s had his fill he finally gets up and then puts it in her and they have a right lovely fuck.  

Next morning Pete wakes up with a bladder full and has to get up for a piss. And so he’s standing there pissing into the toilet bowel whilst yawning and rubbing his face and then he’s like “what the fuck?” cause his face feels all freaky and flakey and stuff is falling off of it into the bowl of piss below him.  

So he finishes his slash and shakes himself off and then turns around to look at himself in the mirror, and I ain’t kidding you here but he’s got this dried blood-like beard all over his chops cause that bird was on her time of the fucking month…” 

Anyway, never go down on a stranger cause my old man told me that horrible story and I reckon he’s right.

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7 Responses to “Never Go Down On a Stranger ~ Matthew Coleman”

  1. Joseph Ridgwell said

    Disgusting, I nearly gagged on my tuna and cucumber baguette, and let it be known here and now I’m already in contact with the relevant authorities to have the people resonsible for peddling this degenerate filth sent to Guantanmo.

    I, have spoken.

  2. Pwyrdan said

    My husband knows someone that happened to. Disgusting!

  3. beckyboobum said

    that was the outcome of my friend’s first sexual experience, and he recalls the incident as a horrific car crash. he now only entertains gentlemen.

  4. Captain Birdseye said

    Hmmm, surely a mouthful of blood clots, is preferable to a cock full of S**t

  5. Miss V said

    That’s why you leave a light on darling.

  6. Tara S said

    This is just right. Just how it is. Oh how many eager and beautiful men I have stubbornly saved from this fate… One day though, when I’m feeling jaded, maybe I’ll just give in and let a stranger – go down on me.

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